That’s what I’m calling today’s thoughts.
What’s this about? Beginnings and endings or should it be endings and beginnings? That’s what. What beginnings and ends you ask. Or maybe you don’t ask. I’m writing for me anyway.
Does my past push me to into the future, whatever it may be, or does the future that I hold in my heart and mind pull me forward?
I know I am the sum of my past. That’s a given for me. I try to not turn away from painful memories or experiences. They’ve helped to make me… me. If you like the me that I am, yeah! that’s my past at work. If you don’t, deal with it. This is who you get. At least until such time that I am the me in the future.
Sometimes I wonder who I am and ponder the choices I’ve made in my life and what they mean for my future. Back to the previous idea, do I let my past push me forward or do I be led into my future? Where or when is the role for taking leaps of faith? Belief and faith are different for me. If I believe, I hold it true (or mostly true) in my mind. Let it be so as it were. Faith is that which requires “a leap of faith.” That idea that you don’t know what’s coming up and are hoping it’s going to turn out well. Many times with crossed fingers and palpitations and lots of stress.
There are parts of my past that I want in my future and I’m working to try to get those in place. I have a very vague view of what I want for my future. On a set of scales I feel I’m still at balance though. Bringing those parts of my past into the present will take some work and might be a fail but will be well worth the effort I hope. Should I be trying to clear up the picture of my future or continue to hold onto this vague idea and try not to rock the tiny skiff that I’m on? I am a pretty weak swimmer. Is drowning bad though? It may suck but it can pretty eye-opening and very educational. Maybe if I dive I’ll grow gills and follow a new path. Hey, I’ll admit it, I thought Ariel was pretty hot when the movie came out. That wouldn’t have been such a bad path if I had landed on that one back then.
I don’t know what my future holds and for right now that isn’t such a bad thing. I’m not going in blind, just not trying to force anything right now.
Perhaps one of these following pictures may solve the original question.
-Santa’s Fallen Angel