male simplicity, n=1, part 1 of ?

  1. *****
  2. it’s ok to ask a guy out. you’re not a slut if you do. i personally find it sexy.
  3. if i’m seeing you and continue to do so, i’m attracted to you. if i’m not, then i’ll say something.
  4. if you aren’t attracted that’s ok. just say so. my momma said i’m a big boy now. don’t just stop calling or emailing as your method of communicating. besides just being utterly rude, that’s low-class. while it would be nice of you to do this in person to show that you are mature and can handle an adult relationship, a phone call is still ok. that still takes a lot of balls for a lot of women. a text message or email isn’t ok. here’s a tip. be honest. i actually want to know why. it helps me to grow as a person.
  5. just because i haven’t tried to kiss you or get you into bed in the first two or three dates doesn’t mean i don’t want to. see #3. sometimes there are more important things in meeting someone.
  6. if you consider me opening a door or giving you my arm archaic and it bothers you, i think we’re done.
  7. big girl panties don’t have to be granny panties. they can be that lacy thing you picked up to make you feel stronger and more sexy. self-confidence in women, not the same as arrogance, can be very alluring.
  8. if you think me paying on the first date robs you of some special female power, i think we’re done. if you want to split the bill to not feel ‘obligated’ to anything, fine by me. if you think there will be a date two, i can pay first and you can offer to pay second if you want.
  9. i don’t have the time or energy or frankly the desire to plan each and every outing. if you need an alpha male to control your world, i think we’re done. if there is something you want to do, say so. if we’re swapping turns, thinking about planning it out too.
  10. i’m flexible in my thinking. it might come across as indecisive at times. i probably would be happy with indian or italian or greek or mexican or american or whatever as long as it isn’t something i don’t like but i may be able to find something i can eat at that place. if you don’t really care, i can pick something. if you do care, say something. if you don’t say anything then, don’t bring it back up in a week as a ‘problem’. i will either have forgotten or i may be bothered that you may not have good interpersonal skills. that is a problem.
  11. actually try and bring up problems as they occur in real-time. i might even be able to say why i said or did something that might make more sense to you and clear things up before things get out of hand. we teach parents to discipline/punish their kids at the moment of an incident, not hours later, “when dad gets home”. they may not remember what happened or what they were thinking at the time. then they feel like they are getting punished for no good reason. men sometimes feel the same way.
  12. maybe people are more flexible to being changed when they are younger. i have a better idea of what i want and don’t want with someone. lying about yourself or what you want isn’t going to help. it’s going to hurt. then i won’t trust you. that’s bad. i value honesty. if i believe you care about me, then i’ll try and hold that in mind. maybe you are telling me something to help me out. that’s good.

basically you can boil this down to the one listed below. it’s even simpler. ready for it?

#1: be honest and open with your communication to me and with yourself.

simple but challenging for most people. miscommunication sucks. try this open and honest route. it saves time and energy on both sides. if you get angry at what someone told you, stop. they can’t make you angry. you made yourself angry. take a look inside for a moment and see if you can figure out why. it might be you.

Hoping to have a bag of presents at any apocalypse,

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

 

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