Love is a battlefield

I was listening to the radio and I heard this song. It got me thinking, I know a dangerous habit. Is love a battlefield? Is it a place/time of conflict and strife?

How often do we see a couple fighting and we say or think to ourselves that it shouldn’t be like that? Yet we find ourselves in similar situations. Although I don’t think it truly happens don’t we want the rainbows and sugar sweet happiness? Does anyone actually enjoy battling constantly (this is a real question and rhetorical at the same time since I think yes, there are people who seem to enjoy it).

In my relationships, and these don’t have to be romantic ones, conflict is exhausting. I don’t have the time or energy to be fighting all the time. I’ve heard from others talking about their romantic relationships how great the make up sex is after a fight but I think I’d be a fan of just plain ole’ ‘you turn me on i want you sex.’ Perhaps that’s archaic now as an idea. I don’t understand. Is the fighting the attraction? Is that the turn on? Is the non-conflict time with that person boring and uninteresting? Just throwing out the idea.

A common idea in the majority of my life that can’t help but resurface now is the idea of communication. How much is missing when all these fights are going on? The time and energy that could be saved from actually taking the time to talk and try and understand each other. No it doesn’t always work. When I feel someone is nagging I start shutting down the brain and the emotions kick into overdrive. Sometimes the emotions out balance the intellect. Hopefully the little voice inside can show up just long enough to remind you to chill out and give communication a chance.

We impose our state of mind/being onto our world. That’s a given to me. A mind can only be so open and still be a part of the world. If you were too open I think you’d be a vegetable all day just thinking or not thinking as it were. We have to have a certain level of prejudice in our lives, and no prejudice doesn’t have to be a negative (‘bad’) word. It means to pre judge, make an opinion, without the knowledge or experience. I’m certainly not so enlightened that I don’t pre judge everyday. But hopefully if I do and I learn from it, I won’t pre judge in that situation but now make an informed decision that still might piss someone off but now with a good reason!

Getting back, we should be doing more talking TO each other and far less talking AT each other. Hand in hand though is the idea that we have to do far more listening and less just hearing.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

p.s. I’ve been writing in my moleskin journal and will working to transfer some of those ideas back into my online journal here.

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