Argh! Screwed over twice by dell now. First with my XPS 630i being crippled but dell not fessing up until it was too late and now screwed again on my X51 R2. Was told when I bought it and read in the manual (still in the manual by the way) that you can setup a RAID 0 (two hard drives acting as one for increase in speed) but now being told I can’t do it and it’s too late to return since it’s been four months. On support person #4 from software this time I was told that the hardware can handle it but Dell crippled the BIOS. Dell I hope you fix it in the next BIOS release. Fornow Dell has now lost my business and I don’t/won’t recommend then to anyone else again. I miss Compaq. I had great customer service with them. Hopefully I won’t have to upgrade anything for years to come. #dell
What are you capable of?
Humans are judgmental. We are prejudiced. How much and which areas may be the differences. These aren’t bad things necessarily. It’s how I function in linear time and with threat reduction. I imagine even the most enlightened person has preconceived notions about others. One who is not myself is… not me. A different set of experiences. A different life. A different upbringing. That’s one thing that makes me unique. It’s hard to look at anyone and know what they are thinking. What they will do. What their motivations are. That led to to my rule of “Anyone is capable of doing anything.” It helps to curb the surprise when someone does something I didn’t see coming.
When I judge I see that I do it in one way and/or a second way. In the first way, I compare a situation externally to how others may act/behave. Basically what would society do/expect. The other way therefore is the internal way in which I compare myself to a situation. To follow the rule of sorts, how capable is a person compared to what someone else in society could do versus what I myself am capable of. To a small degree I have identified a third way of comparing someone to themselves. For instance (and just the first thing to come to mind) when Bolt sprints I can compare him to other sprints he made in the past (third way). I can compare him to how others are sprinting (first way). He can compare himself on how he sprinted, while even a slower time might still be a 100% effort (second way). We all have off days. I even try to externalize the second way in that exact fashion and make excuses/reasons for them. People were talking about Djokovick and his playing ability after getting married. There was an article about how other players in the past have handled the burden of marriage, some playing better, some worse. In a second way, only he can truly say what is going through his mind. We use scores and tests to measure in the first way. Laws and judgements can be a first way method, how is one acting when compared to society and do we generally consider it appropriate and acceptable.
Other than sports, in everyday life, work and activities, I go through the same motions. I look at others and judge them on how I would or would not do something. When I do something I can judge how others are doing and in myself with what I’m capable of. That is one of the most important pieces. I wish I had written down when I read this idea but “know your limitations but don’t be limited by them.” Simple and profound and while not my original idea, is a rule for my life. I can only do 1-2 clean overhand pullups. Seriously, that’s it. I can compare my ability to how many others can do (a lot more usually) and how may I could do.Time and effort are my limitations. I could do 3 then 4 and so on.
Only through true introspection can I gauge what I am capable of and just how far I can push it. A group of kids are hiking and come across a cave. A bear emerges and starts coming toward them. One of the kids stops, leans down and starts to tie her shoes. Another kid yells and asks what she’s doing. She says, “I don’t have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun someone else.”
I am both saddened and elated to have had another guy confirm this afternoon my own experiences with female cowardice. This happened at the grocery store of all places. He noted that I was buying a lot and that I must be the cook in the family. I returned that while I enjoy cooking, this wasn’t all for me. He then, without prompting, lamented about his recent experience with a text breakup, lucky guy. He seemed in his late 20’s/early 30’s.
I’m talking about dating and the apparent immaturity and/or lack of communication skills in a wide age range of women.
Some time recently I had met someone once for brunch and I thought things had gone well and we even made plans for a second outing. Alas, she backed out claiming fatigue from medication. I tried again the next day to communicate. No returned phone call or messages. No problem. People are working and busy and just give it some time. And yes, I’m still this naive. As seems the norm to me in the modern, and older, woman in this case, the method of lack/loss of interest is the silent treatment. Now I’m presuming this person lost interest. In truth yes, they may have met someone that very evening and was swept off their feet or got scared with a ‘younger’ man or ran away to join the circus, hopefully not because of me, but I find those options unlikely. Not being interested is not my issue. If it was that easy, people might want to date instead of dreading it.
But why this behavior? I just don’t get it and it makes me a little angry. It’s not even a face to face rejection/let down. That’s a real adult and mature situation. In an age of text messaging and online sharing people seem to be less connected and more impersonal. The online dating process by itself is based on pictures and words and written conversation until they choose to take it to the phone or a meeting. What is so challenging about even saying “Thanks but not interested” by an online or phone message? The only thing less impersonal that I can think of is this silent treatment these women are so fond of. Perhaps their experience with this growing up leads them to think it’s an appropriate adult behavior.
I still can’t believe that I’m coming to terms with the idea that where once I would have become angry with a text message response, I would relish some form of communication, even a text message. Do these women lack so much in their lives that a simple very impersonal confrontation is beyond their coping/life skills? I had hoped in the past that it was reserved to a certain age group of women and that I would be fortunate with someone older and more mature to be able to handle open and honest communication. Alas, again, I have been proven wrong. I do not believe most men in general are wells of confidence overflowing thinking they are gods gift upon the earth. We carry fears as well. Is this a general female method or specific to the women I, and the gentleman at the store although he got a text message, have had the unfortunate luck to meet. I can only hope for this to be a specific group.
These experiences have not been without benefit however. They have weeded themselves out. Not only have they saved me time, money and effort, it reinforces my belief that a quality woman is that much rarer and should be treasured. It brings up the notions: One man’s junk is another man’s treasure and Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some men might not want an intelligent and confident woman. This one seemed fine. Attractive, traveled, educated and teaching at the university but taking time for research, not an easy task. During the one meeting she seemed confident in herself. Perhaps misdirection and deception are skills while practiced by magicians might be second nature to women who may have had to learn these behaviors growing up to deal with other women or previous men in their lives.
Mars and Venus continue to be unaligned and I continue to remain baffled.
EDIT: Unsaid but true, men are not immune to this issue as well. I am not immune to this issue and something to work on.