Reunion thoughts

Earlier this year I had a high school reunion. Memories are finicky things. That which I once ‘knew’ or held as a belief doesn’t always hold up to the test of time.

Ideas about people sometimes change. And sometimes they are still dead on accurate.

People sometimes look they same as I remember. A few changes in all of us as we grow and age and are aged by those around us.

In the reflection of others as they react to me and what they see and say, I get a glimpse of how I have changed and stayed the same. More self reflecting as I’m forced to see the inner workings of my mind and life. I can see or hear what others think about my life but do I see those things myself? Recently I was told that I was condescending and egotistical. I spent time on and off that day wondering if it was true. I ended up asking some people in my life. The answer was that on initial encounter yes I can come off that way but over time they learned I just suck sometimes with certain communication styles and the initial impression was not true. Thankfully they had time and other mutual friends to buffer until they saw hopefully the truer me. Not everything social makes sense to me. I’ve accepted that about myself. Common sense is not common as they say.

Have I neglected to see the beauty in my life from the experiences I am fortunate to have had?

I ramble in my mind and these words as I realize I don’t have an answer.

A heaviness sits on my mind as I ponder goals I had wanted to accomplish by now that I haven’t yet. Personally disappointing but still heading in a positive direction.

A long way to go but I’m fluctuating around the lowest weight/fat percentage from the last two years. Still a ways to go. Yeah to exercising and eating better. Going to at most on average eating meat one or two days a week instead of NOT having some one or two days a week. More fruits and vegetables to make up the difference. Just that alone is probably a big help and maybe the meat change will flow naturally from that with just smaller portions of healthy meats (grass fed beef, free range chicken, etc).

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

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