not self-portrait

I enjoy taking photos. For the most part they are for me. I get to look at them whenever I want and take that mental vacation.

I have been asked why I’m not in most of my photos. I am in some now and then. Sometimes of my own choice and sometimes forcibly told to get in one. Granted again I’m usually behind the lens, not in front and it’s not always easy to get yourself in the picture. I don’t need to see myself in it. I took it. If I want or need to know more I’ll look it up. That’s what metadata is for and GPS tagging.

I do admit that I don’t think I’m very photogenic. I’m not a fan of being in the picture. As a vertically challenged person many times I’m in the back or side of the photo. The floating head in the background of the photo, that could very well be me. I can’t always identify myself in these photos. Maybe if I squint enough I can make out the dark blob in the back. Recently I found that there is at least one good reason to get in front of the lens. I can only hope that somebody that knows how to use the camera to get a good shot and in focus is present.

What is it?

Simple social reasons. I think people can connect with me better when I’m in at least a few of the photos be they in or out of the US. They can work as conversation pieces – “oh you went to…”, “this is great”, or “where are you in that picture?”.

It’s hard for others to be really sure you were there. Just a presumption since you posted them. So I’ll try to be in more photos and have my point and shoot (pas) with me more often. Good thing I have extra batteries and a new way to keep them charged when I’m out.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

spoiler FF6

I like the fast and furious franchise. I recently watched FF6 and while I understand the timeline I have to admit that I, like many others, was torn up at the death of Giselle which was done in a very badass manner guns blazing. Han and Giselle were super cute together and probably made most people smile whenever they were together. The extra end of FF6 also sheds light on the death of Han in Tokyo Drift. Now I need to have a marathon and run through them all again, especially Drift. I see Han in a new light and wonder how that will now color my perception of the movie.


“I have money, it’s trust and character I need around me. You know, who you choose to be around you lets you know who you are. One car in exchange for knowing what a man’s made of? That’s a price I can live with.” -Han, Tokyo Drift


-Santa’s Fallen Angel


Another summer of ‘blockbuster’ movies is upon us. I’ve seen Iron Man 3 and Superman (yes, another one), Up On Poppy Hill, Much Ado About Nothing, Pacific Rim and many others that people probably didn’t care so much about. I’m glad I saw Whedon’s Much Ado About Nothing. I saw the trailer and I was hooked.

Now I’ve heard of bunkerbusters, but not really sure how the term blockbuster came to be. Anybody know before they also do a search or continue reading?

To the internet!…..

So. I guess I wasn’t that far off in my thinking. Wiki says that it started with the bombs that would destroy a city block. From there it was adopted for a play/production that was crazy sensational. Hence, blockbuster. I digress as usual.

So what do suspenders have to do with movies?

I’m not talking about the suspenders that I have but don’t wear because people make fun of me, although I will be making a comeback on the bowtie if I can ever figure out how to tie it again. Videos just ain’t cutting it right now.

I’m talking about the simple devices that movie makers use to suck us in and keep us interested. Some movies do it far better than others.

We each at the moment we step in the theater are susceptible to a particular hook. Maybe today it’s the love story or the fast car chase or a plot twist that was unexpected or someone hot or just a story that is making absolutely no sense but you need to keep watching to see what happens.

Why do we even need something to suck us in? For Much Ado About Nothing I knew I wanted to see it. I’m a Whedon fan and a Shakespeare fan so yeah pre-movie I was already willing to see it through.

For a lot of movies I have preconceived notions that I try and hold in check while I watch the movie. I like anime and the Studio Ghibli films so Poppy Hill was expected to be a winner for me and I wasn’t let down. Man of Steel for example was a preconceived 50/50. In the end I liked it better than tomato critics. But then again, I also like movies that aren’t standard summer blow em up films too. Yes there is destruction but there’s a strong story there for me as well. I felt it. It connected with me. Subtle and not so subtle emotions being tugged. Pain and tragedy are there. There’s also a lot of crap that I could have done without but I kinda glanced over a bunch of that as regular hollywood nonsense.


There’s a movie that got me pondering. I know some people that didn’t like it. It jostled my mind the first two viewings. I think I’ve seen it three times now. Twice in the theater and once at home. I’m still thinking about it and will probably make a fourth go at it.

I was digressing again…

So, you’re having a jolly ole time in the movies. You’ve bought whatever plot may be given to you as weak as it may be (*cough*Pacific Rim*cough*) and you choose to simply let yourself be caught up in it and stop asking questions. Things seem to be taking a turn and you begin to worry the person you think is the hero is not going to be making a sequel.

And BAM! Out of nowhere comes (insert saving moment).

It’s a toss up at this point. Did the deus ex machina moment relieve you or just plain piss you off? Would the movie have been better if the hero really did die? Do we have to have a happy ending? The Place Beyond The Pines is a great example. If you haven’t seen it try and skip this part and rent it. Then come back and reread. The movie overall was great but the ending rocked. Not your classic style happy ending shit. This was hardcore in your face reality of a trying to make the best of a really fucked up situation. No joking. This kid had his life kicked in the balls and he just kept plowing ahead like he had a super absorbing cup. Bravo! I left so unsettled my friend and I spend quite a bit of time after talking about the movie. It’s nice to not have things wrapped up pleasantly sometimes and you have to face a shitty reality because that’s.. well.. life. Surprise!

In the end (and the end of the movie), why do we choose to believe? Why do we sit there and try to accept this alternate reality be it documentary, class summer fun or far out trippy independent film? I guess it’s still where you are in the moment. Maybe you want to escape your own life. Maybe that’s why we have so many reality tv shows. I’ve learned though that I have enough reality in my own life thank you very much. Maybe you want to, in a sense, travel outside of your comfort zone and experience something you wouldn’t before but easier than actually going somewhere and being forced to experience something. In the theater you can just get up and leave. Being somewhere, you’d have to do hide. Maybe you just want to see what others have seen and just want to know what they are talking about.

I try hard not to put too much stock into ratings of movies. I’ve enjoyed many movies that people just consider trash and would never admit they ever saw it. To each his own. I’ve never seen Titanic and really I’m ok with it. Actually, I knew how it ended already. Doh!

Enjoy your flicks at whatever venue you might catch them at. I encourage you to take a moment if it presents itself and step outside of your comfort zone and catch a movie you might not have before. Many towns that are large enough probably have some place that shows independent films or box office ones that just weren’t big enough to headline.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

be at peace

I wrote the next part for someone else for their situation and they were encouraged. I felt it would be good to share this with you all in case it might resonate with someone else. While this has a religious feel to it, I disclose that yes I believe in something be it a spirit guide, ghost, presence, group conscience, interdimensional communication with an alternate timeline at a different rate of speed, etc etc etc, it still felt right writing it this way.


emotions help to make us human. we are not robots to blindly trudge through life. the pain we feel inside also indicates that we care. one who doesn’t feel the lowness of pain may also not be able to feel the height of joy. while two work to be one we are still ourselves in His eyes. in the end it is our life that is judged. therefore IN life while we may strive to be joined to another our needs and wants need to be met. hold fast to yourself. the pain may never dissappear but it will lessen. logic will help dampen it. we learn from life to better face today.