i was going to just start with xmas and ramble on from there but found much more to talk about… (you may not wish to read unless you have sufficient holiday spirit)
random rambling… the 3 wise men thing as far as i know wasn’t just 3 wise men. actually, using concordances i don’t see where a number is listed. just some guys. moving on now.
those that know me know that i’m not a big fan of holidays as a general. most are days of the year that have been taken over by shopping and expectations. let’s go through the biggies… (numbers and figures may be totally made up on the spot by me and are therefore 100% accurate).
1. new years eve/day: not so bad really. people get together. party. drink. watch the ball drop if you stay up that late. some convenient/inconvenient hookups to be noted when you wake up in the next year. resolutions are made. most with good intent. and most of those broken before the day is up. instead of diet plan, try a lifestyle change.
2. birthdays: yeah. hypocrite 100%. i celebrate others but keep mine quiet. i hope the people who want to talk to me just pick up the phone and call, not wait until a calendar throws up a reminder. i skipped out on a surprise birthday party in med school that my ex setup. i told her i didn’t want anything and she went ahead and did one. i was more upset that she specifically asked me what i wanted (nothing in this case) and went against it. good intention, bad outcome. i never showed up.
3. valentines day or as it was recently renamed by a female friend to “happy bitches day”: it was renamed for the idea that this one day each year is held with trepidation by both men and women alike. men for having this one day of the year to prove their love since the other days may not be in the correct celestial alignment to boost the power of venus and the grand connection between the couple. women because if their man doesn’t do something spectacular it proves that he doesn’t love her or care about her wants/needs/desires/jewelry needs (http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1561741,00.html) or something like that if i understand things correctly. praise be to the debeer’s “a diamond is forever” campaign. a continuation of socialized prostitution. defined by merriam-webster: the act of having sex in exchange for money. or in this case lobster, diamonds, and/or roses.
4. mardi gras (shrove tuesday): as i learned on my trip to new orleans the native that gave us our tour stated while they do have their parade, the natives don’t celebrate like the drunken tourists. more like a 4th of july grilling. leave it up to the american tourist to turn it into a drunken festival and breast showing event. i’ve also read that it is also considered the last catholic day to indulge before the fasting of lent
5. st patrick’s days: similar to mardi gras. but in the spirit of international cooperation, we get to drink with the irish.
6. cinco de mayo: also similar to the others. my understanding is that we celebrate it more strongly than the mexicans do themselves.
7. mother’s/father’s/grandmother’s/grandfather’s/etc days: nice idea in concept. i could do better with calling home. but it helps those who don’t to show that even one day a year you might be forgiven for not calling or writing any other time.
8. july 4th: how many people do you see NOT being able to sing/know the words of the star-spangled banner? also, while we use the term BBQ, it’s not really correct. see this: http://shine.yahoo.com/southern-food/bbq-v-grilling-whats-the-difference-2495209.html. quick and simple definitions. most people are not actually BBQing. they are grilling.
9. thanksgiving: finally. something that isn’t so commercialized. yes there may be some decorations but for the most part an actual bona fide good day. a time for people get together and in theory remember good times and enjoy good company. there’s also the american past time of not only stuffing the turkey but pigging out so much buttons may pop one’s garments starting the two months or so of gorging until the new years for resolutions.
10. black friday: yeah. time to buy stuff. a nice holiday made up to sell sell sell… stuff we probably don’t need or even want a few months after they are bought.
10a. cyber monday: this i place as a corollary and not by itself. it’s too close to black friday to give its own number. simply an extension of black friday for tech stuff. these days though there are usually much better sales before black friday even starts. at least for the higher quality items. praise be to online shopping.
time to ramble: so, being that i forget about holidays and in this case xmas. i made the big mistake on a day off to go pick up something from the store. i know i wasn’t thinking. first trying to figure out why there was so much traffic. then trying to figure out why there was no parking. it finally took until i stepped into the store and saw the fake snow/snowflakes and holiday wrapping to realize people were xmas shopping. thankfully i was picking up my item bought online. short line then out the door. repeat experience at REI and then high tailed it to the safety of my home and away from crazy drivers/shoppers.
11. halloween: overall not so bad. big for commercialism. decent parties. and yes, a good time as any for some socially acceptable scantily clad female costumes. there probably are male ones as well. not interested in those. kids get to go around a get lots of candy to help keep dentists in business for the rest of their lives. not that they need much help with soda and other junk food served year round. ah for the days of medical physicals for all the dental surgeries that were complicated enough to require OR time. kids. don’t worry. your grill may not be fancy and studded with diamonds but will be just as shiny until you get your dentures.
11a. dia de los muertos: better
12. christmas/winter holiday time!! time to celebrate capitalism and the idea of “what am i going to get?”/”i didn’t get what i asked for?”/”what do you mean give to others? this isn’t about me? how much did this cost?”, santa, kwanza, festivus, (c)hanukkah and some guy that people tend not to thank much for giving us some days off and grief over holiday schedules.
remember: it’s not about what someone may have thoughtfully done for you during the year but what they bought for you during said specific holiday or calendar date. so learn the lesson well. if you find something for someone, buy it, store it away until the right time of the year to give one of many gifts instead of being some single solitary thoughtful gift and hope they haven’t bought it themselves or someone else hasn’t bought it for them already. and don’t forget the gift receipt. that’s sometimes the only way to return something.
a merry bah humbug to you all. and to all a good night.
-Nirav- aka Santa’s Little Helper
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