broken as i am i still withstood the crucible tonight.

but not unscathed.

the fire and heat of the crucible burned me yet again.

pain. seemingly unbearable pain washing over and through me.

rekindling the fire within me.

setting ablaze that which i had attempted to dampen down.

stoked and on fire again i leapt from the edge.

falling toward an abyss i wanted to be in.

one i had created for myself.

i longed to embrace the darkness.

but there is no hope there.

no salvation.

no peace.

thus i forced myself to land elsewhere and on two feet.

burning in pain but the burning was only inside.

no tears can wash this pain away.

i must face this crucible within.

attempt to make whole what was broken before.

not the same.

but something new and stronger than before.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

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