a hostage of one

I’m amazed at the amount of people that are shocked that I go to movies by myself. I get that being single has its negative impressions the older one gets. I still would like to make the right decision the first time instead of multiple wrong decisions, even if they might be a lot of fun along the way. There are good things about being single like being easier to fit in that isolated seat on the plane (disregarding the nasty looks the other two might give you) as well as the isolated seat in a packed movie theater (again disregarding the nasty looks) and not so good things about being single, mainly the way the rest of the world looks at us. The group tour world presumes to a large degree that people travel in pairs. Try and book a cruise or group tour and the majority are couples based (double occupancy). There are sites and places that help with the single person traveling and this is an ok option. Don’t be fooled by the world that you much travel or do things with someone else!! I think people would be even more shocked that I go to concerts, restaurants, sporting events, even the bathroom, all by myself. I hear “I wish I could do that.” (That third ‘I’ was bolded and italicized!)

In a moment of desire to give guidance and help the world I will share my secrets.

1. Find free time without other obligations or obligations you won’t feel that guilty about missing.
-This is purely subjective of course. You may decide that the cat in the tree or the baby in the runaway shopping cart are high priorities but this will cut into the time off and you may now miss your chosen event.

2. Choose something to do.
-You may have difficulties if you have problems making decisions. Choosing something that requires 2+ people may make it harder if you are by yourself. Likewise choosing something that requires participation might be difficult if you are sedentary or don’t want to participate in something.

3. Go.
-I leave the method of how to get there open: Hitch hiking and sneaking aboard planes ARE recognized methods and while quite valid are not recommended for multiple reasons including the fact that you are already having trouble getting out and these are extreme methods as well as the the illegal nature. In the future if you find you enjoy going out these options can be revisited.

4. Appreciate the ability to do what you want in your own time frame.
-Caveat being that events usually begin and end at some point. They generally want you to leave when it’s over. Otherwise, plan what you want to do whenever you want to do it.

5. Enjoy the quiet time as much as possible.
-It helps if the event has built in alone time like a movie. You shouldn’t be talking anyway at the theater.

6. Enjoy the nonquiet time as much as possible.
-You may have to go home at some point to a life you may not like and dread as the event comes to a close. Let that pent up energy out before you get home.

7. Remember the time you spent.
-If you enjoyed it, it will give you energy and motiviation to go out again.
-If you didn’t enjoy it, analyze why and try again with something else.
-If you had gone to something that you wouldn’t have gone to without others, you may need help choosing for the second try.

Thoughts: As stated, movies are a good choice to start with, if you like movies, because you aren’t supposed to be talking, forced to engage in conversation with others, nor having to interact with others except to buy the ticket and find a seat. Go early to avoid having to squeeze in between people if the theater is expected to be full. If you have trouble staying silent, perhaps time at a monestary or nunery (as specified per gender) would be helpful. Their methods will be their own so check into that before signing up. Bugee jumping and sky diving are also solo events where you won’t be doing much talking either. *screaming is not talking*

If you have no friends to ask for help, you can try websites setup for singles. Not necessarily people who don’t have an SO (significant other) but people who are going to be traveling on their own (who probably don’t have an SO). You can also try sites like meetup to try and attend events. Keep in mind though that many travels by oneself can come at a higher cost as many trips are not designed for the single person. Try a regular cruise booking and the single supplement charge will blow your mind. Might as well find someone to travel with since it’s about the same price. Us single folk get the short end of the stick (a phrase whose origin may be shit end of the stick by the way since really what is the short end of a stick, it only has two ends), when trying to travel alone. It might be a difficult thing dealing with the concept of being by youself in a group event. It might also be easier though without having to plan anything out and maybe the people are actually nice. As before, there are plenty of sites for finding trips for the single traveler. It’s just finding the one that fits your schedule and level of activity. Make sure you meet the requirements as they are and pay the price. You are good to go and you may even get hooked to doing things by yourself but still in a group setting. You can then work yourself to smaller and smaller groups until you can spend time by yourself. Then the world really opens up.


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