Category Archives: Uncategorized

awakening

by

0

half way through a weekend of work and a night of seemingly endless calls, i lay in bed feeling worked over by a two-bit thug plying his trade.

finally at rest. eyes closing. ready to sleep.

like a bolt of lightning that stayed i am shocked. as if the sun is in my room. the light, bright, so bright. no protection even covering my eyes with the light penetrating my traitorous hand.

a deep and dangerous snarl escapes my throat. i want to tear out the throat of the one who put this in motion. unfortunately i did this to myself. i lay there cursing the world.

i toss and turn trying to find solace from this onslaught. my eyes and brain adjusting to this notification that work must continue, i resign myself to this notion and prepare my body to move forward.

click! and my world is plunged back into the deep dark abyss as the light turns off.

tension leaves my mind and body as the stimulus is withdrawn, but residing still the knowledge that i must move forward to face whatever challenges this day has to offer until i can embrace again the dark cool of the night, the comfort of the bed underneath me and the gentle caress of a light sheet.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

waste not, want not

by

0

Who can even remember when they first heard this. Who can remember what it really even means. Basically if you don’t waste, you’ll have enough for later.

But looking over this, I’ve come up with a new cliche. Take note folks you’re seeing it here first. At least I didn’t find this on a quick search.

Ready?

Want not, waste not.

Seriously. That’s it.

Missy Elliott said it, “..flip it and reverse it.”

So I did.

I like my version better. If you want not then you won’t waste. Not exactly the same but you get the idea.

Americans and probably most “developed” countries throw away quite a lot of food each day. Not “so bad gonna make you sick” food but “one day past expiration” or “slightly discolored” bad or “ewwwww i just don’t want it”. The food that many other people would be happy to eat, even in the USA, if they would just have it.

I was astonished at the numbers (which I can’t reproduce off the top of my head) on the amount of food wasted. But I’m curious if the data also tells what types of food and maybe even why it was thrown away. I wonder about the numbers from other countries and how we stack up. Could this data be used as a marker for “growth”? The emerging country showing an increase in the amount that is wasted?

As these thoughts were rolling around I had more thoughts. Crazy I know. Can you link these numbers to portion size? If you have a larger plate and portion there is simply more to throw away. Right? It seems simple as an idea. Smaller plates, less to throw. Smaller appetites, less to put on the plate. The idea that it’s ok not to feel full. It’s ok to feel a little hungry. Perhaps I will take the time at some point and see what the web has to offer if I search for answers.

I just talked about food here but really, this can apply to anything you choose to buy.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

 

not self-portrait

by

0

I enjoy taking photos. For the most part they are for me. I get to look at them whenever I want and take that mental vacation.

I have been asked why I’m not in most of my photos. I am in some now and then. Sometimes of my own choice and sometimes forcibly told to get in one. Granted again I’m usually behind the lens, not in front and it’s not always easy to get yourself in the picture. I don’t need to see myself in it. I took it. If I want or need to know more I’ll look it up. That’s what metadata is for and GPS tagging.

I do admit that I don’t think I’m very photogenic. I’m not a fan of being in the picture. As a vertically challenged person many times I’m in the back or side of the photo. The floating head in the background of the photo, that could very well be me. I can’t always identify myself in these photos. Maybe if I squint enough I can make out the dark blob in the back. Recently I found that there is at least one good reason to get in front of the lens. I can only hope that somebody that knows how to use the camera to get a good shot and in focus is present.

What is it?

Simple social reasons. I think people can connect with me better when I’m in at least a few of the photos be they in or out of the US. They can work as conversation pieces – “oh you went to…”, “this is great”, or “where are you in that picture?”.

It’s hard for others to be really sure you were there. Just a presumption since you posted them. So I’ll try to be in more photos and have my point and shoot (pas) with me more often. Good thing I have extra batteries and a new way to keep them charged when I’m out.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

spoiler FF6

by

0

I like the fast and furious franchise. I recently watched FF6 and while I understand the timeline I have to admit that I, like many others, was torn up at the death of Giselle which was done in a very badass manner guns blazing. Han and Giselle were super cute together and probably made most people smile whenever they were together. The extra end of FF6 also sheds light on the death of Han in Tokyo Drift. Now I need to have a marathon and run through them all again, especially Drift. I see Han in a new light and wonder how that will now color my perception of the movie.

 

“I have money, it’s trust and character I need around me. You know, who you choose to be around you lets you know who you are. One car in exchange for knowing what a man’s made of? That’s a price I can live with.” -Han, Tokyo Drift

 

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

suspenders

by

0

Another summer of ‘blockbuster’ movies is upon us. I’ve seen Iron Man 3 and Superman (yes, another one), Up On Poppy Hill, Much Ado About Nothing, Pacific Rim and many others that people probably didn’t care so much about. I’m glad I saw Whedon’s Much Ado About Nothing. I saw the trailer and I was hooked.

Now I’ve heard of bunkerbusters, but not really sure how the term blockbuster came to be. Anybody know before they also do a search or continue reading?

To the internet!…..

So. I guess I wasn’t that far off in my thinking. Wiki says that it started with the bombs that would destroy a city block. From there it was adopted for a play/production that was crazy sensational. Hence, blockbuster. I digress as usual.

So what do suspenders have to do with movies?

I’m not talking about the suspenders that I have but don’t wear because people make fun of me, although I will be making a comeback on the bowtie if I can ever figure out how to tie it again. Videos just ain’t cutting it right now.

I’m talking about the simple devices that movie makers use to suck us in and keep us interested. Some movies do it far better than others.

We each at the moment we step in the theater are susceptible to a particular hook. Maybe today it’s the love story or the fast car chase or a plot twist that was unexpected or someone hot or just a story that is making absolutely no sense but you need to keep watching to see what happens.

Why do we even need something to suck us in? For Much Ado About Nothing I knew I wanted to see it. I’m a Whedon fan and a Shakespeare fan so yeah pre-movie I was already willing to see it through.

For a lot of movies I have preconceived notions that I try and hold in check while I watch the movie. I like anime and the Studio Ghibli films so Poppy Hill was expected to be a winner for me and I wasn’t let down. Man of Steel for example was a preconceived 50/50. In the end I liked it better than tomato critics. But then again, I also like movies that aren’t standard summer blow em up films too. Yes there is destruction but there’s a strong story there for me as well. I felt it. It connected with me. Subtle and not so subtle emotions being tugged. Pain and tragedy are there. There’s also a lot of crap that I could have done without but I kinda glanced over a bunch of that as regular hollywood nonsense.

Inception.

There’s a movie that got me pondering. I know some people that didn’t like it. It jostled my mind the first two viewings. I think I’ve seen it three times now. Twice in the theater and once at home. I’m still thinking about it and will probably make a fourth go at it.

I was digressing again…

So, you’re having a jolly ole time in the movies. You’ve bought whatever plot may be given to you as weak as it may be (*cough*Pacific Rim*cough*) and you choose to simply let yourself be caught up in it and stop asking questions. Things seem to be taking a turn and you begin to worry the person you think is the hero is not going to be making a sequel.

And BAM! Out of nowhere comes (insert saving moment).

It’s a toss up at this point. Did the deus ex machina moment relieve you or just plain piss you off? Would the movie have been better if the hero really did die? Do we have to have a happy ending? The Place Beyond The Pines is a great example. If you haven’t seen it try and skip this part and rent it. Then come back and reread. The movie overall was great but the ending rocked. Not your classic style happy ending shit. This was hardcore in your face reality of a trying to make the best of a really fucked up situation. No joking. This kid had his life kicked in the balls and he just kept plowing ahead like he had a super absorbing cup. Bravo! I left so unsettled my friend and I spend quite a bit of time after talking about the movie. It’s nice to not have things wrapped up pleasantly sometimes and you have to face a shitty reality because that’s.. well.. life. Surprise!

In the end (and the end of the movie), why do we choose to believe? Why do we sit there and try to accept this alternate reality be it documentary, class summer fun or far out trippy independent film? I guess it’s still where you are in the moment. Maybe you want to escape your own life. Maybe that’s why we have so many reality tv shows. I’ve learned though that I have enough reality in my own life thank you very much. Maybe you want to, in a sense, travel outside of your comfort zone and experience something you wouldn’t before but easier than actually going somewhere and being forced to experience something. In the theater you can just get up and leave. Being somewhere, you’d have to do hide. Maybe you just want to see what others have seen and just want to know what they are talking about.

I try hard not to put too much stock into ratings of movies. I’ve enjoyed many movies that people just consider trash and would never admit they ever saw it. To each his own. I’ve never seen Titanic and really I’m ok with it. Actually, I knew how it ended already. Doh!

Enjoy your flicks at whatever venue you might catch them at. I encourage you to take a moment if it presents itself and step outside of your comfort zone and catch a movie you might not have before. Many towns that are large enough probably have some place that shows independent films or box office ones that just weren’t big enough to headline.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

be at peace

by

0

I wrote the next part for someone else for their situation and they were encouraged. I felt it would be good to share this with you all in case it might resonate with someone else. While this has a religious feel to it, I disclose that yes I believe in something be it a spirit guide, ghost, presence, group conscience, interdimensional communication with an alternate timeline at a different rate of speed, etc etc etc, it still felt right writing it this way.

 

emotions help to make us human. we are not robots to blindly trudge through life. the pain we feel inside also indicates that we care. one who doesn’t feel the lowness of pain may also not be able to feel the height of joy. while two work to be one we are still ourselves in His eyes. in the end it is our life that is judged. therefore IN life while we may strive to be joined to another our needs and wants need to be met. hold fast to yourself. the pain may never dissappear but it will lessen. logic will help dampen it. we learn from life to better face today.

Love is a battlefield

by

0

I was listening to the radio and I heard this song. It got me thinking, I know a dangerous habit. Is love a battlefield? Is it a place/time of conflict and strife?

How often do we see a couple fighting and we say or think to ourselves that it shouldn’t be like that? Yet we find ourselves in similar situations. Although I don’t think it truly happens don’t we want the rainbows and sugar sweet happiness? Does anyone actually enjoy battling constantly (this is a real question and rhetorical at the same time since I think yes, there are people who seem to enjoy it).

In my relationships, and these don’t have to be romantic ones, conflict is exhausting. I don’t have the time or energy to be fighting all the time. I’ve heard from others talking about their romantic relationships how great the make up sex is after a fight but I think I’d be a fan of just plain ole’ ‘you turn me on i want you sex.’ Perhaps that’s archaic now as an idea. I don’t understand. Is the fighting the attraction? Is that the turn on? Is the non-conflict time with that person boring and uninteresting? Just throwing out the idea.

A common idea in the majority of my life that can’t help but resurface now is the idea of communication. How much is missing when all these fights are going on? The time and energy that could be saved from actually taking the time to talk and try and understand each other. No it doesn’t always work. When I feel someone is nagging I start shutting down the brain and the emotions kick into overdrive. Sometimes the emotions out balance the intellect. Hopefully the little voice inside can show up just long enough to remind you to chill out and give communication a chance.

We impose our state of mind/being onto our world. That’s a given to me. A mind can only be so open and still be a part of the world. If you were too open I think you’d be a vegetable all day just thinking or not thinking as it were. We have to have a certain level of prejudice in our lives, and no prejudice doesn’t have to be a negative (‘bad’) word. It means to pre judge, make an opinion, without the knowledge or experience. I’m certainly not so enlightened that I don’t pre judge everyday. But hopefully if I do and I learn from it, I won’t pre judge in that situation but now make an informed decision that still might piss someone off but now with a good reason!

Getting back, we should be doing more talking TO each other and far less talking AT each other. Hand in hand though is the idea that we have to do far more listening and less just hearing.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

p.s. I’ve been writing in my moleskin journal and will working to transfer some of those ideas back into my online journal here.

UCS Red Five

by

0

Why can’t an entry be about me putting together the new Red Five X-wing? So yeah here it is to tease and tantalize. UPDATE: Didn’t like the slideshow automation so I switched it back to pictures with more writing.

 

Ok. So this was something I’ve had on my towant (didn’t see this word on google so it’s my new word creation) list for some time now, pretty much as soon as I saw it was going to be offered. The box of course is big. Thankfully I meet the age requirement so I opened it up and began with the construction. Along the way I took notes on the construction process but of course those disappeared when it came to writing this up.

The box with a flash reflection

The box with a flash reflection

 

The box of goodies revealed. Three instruction manuals, stickers and numbered bags. I’ve only been into legos for a few years now and I’m plus/minus on the numbered bags. Yes they correspond well with the instructions. They do make it easier to put it together. There is a significant amount of time NOT spent sorting pieces and actually just building. I don’t know. Part of the fun was the searching around for a piece and cursing that a piece wasn’t put in the bag until that moment you find it under something else.

The pieces still in bags ready to be joined together in holy lego goodness

The pieces still in bags ready to be joined together in holy lego goodness

 

Most of the rest of these pictures are just various stages of the construction. I am amazed at how the creator, praise his name, thought to put things together to make it work. But I guess that’s why they are master builders. I’d bet they have a computer program as well for 3d modeling with the pieces and if they don’t that would be really awesome I think.

Some mechanism that will be used I'm sure.

Some mechanism that will be used I’m sure.

 

Probably for the wings only because I watched the developer video.

Probably for the wings only because I watched the developer video.

 

Ahh.. the mechanism for the wings.

Ahh.. the mechanism for the wings.

 

Another piece of the puzzle

Another piece of the puzzle

 

I like it when things come together and make sense.

I like it when things come together and make sense.

 

The rear mechanism to open and close the foils

The rear mechanism to open and close the foils

 

The full mechanism to open and close the foils.

The full mechanism to open and close the foils.

 

Just covered up now

Just covered up now

 

I realized at this point it was going to be big.

I realized at this point it was going to be big.

 

Joined together and getting all that much closer to finishing.

Joined together and getting all that much closer to finishing.

 

It's ok to turn off the targeting computer Luke I read the script.

It’s ok to turn off the targeting computer Luke I read the script.

 

I put it in the caption but putting the stickers onto this windshield kinda sucked. You really have to get it aligned right since it falls onto the other side. Maybe I just need more practice. It’s like how horrible I am putting the screen protector on my phone. As an aside, the phone had a screen protector on it with the companies logo. How about next time you (the company) make one with a second tab for a top layer that can pull the logo off when the customer buys it and the protector stays on. Huh? Please? It would save people a lot of time and dust particles.

 

I wasn't happy with how the stickers when on this 'windshield.' I would have preferred separate stickers for each pane. R2 fits in really well.

I wasn’t happy with how the stickers when on this ‘windshield.’ I would have preferred separate stickers for each pane. R2 fits in really well.

 

Even without the wings this thing was getting big. You can see that it’s already tipping back on the stand.

I like the way it sits on the stand and you can take it off easily.

I like the way it sits on the stand and you can take it off easily.

 

The foils work in a balancing action. Nice mechanism.

The foils work in a balancing action. Nice mechanism.

 

Almost ready for takeoff.

Almost ready for takeoff.

 

Lego UCS Red 5 Xwing-0145

Just twist this here knob and the wings open and close.

 

 

Need these engines. Nice detail on them.

Need these engines. Nice detail on them.

 

Well.. the engines mounted I suppose to make it go.

Well.. the engines mounted I suppose to make it go.

 

Testing foil mechanism. It works well in either direction.

Testing foil mechanism. It works well in either direction.

 

Just need some final touches for some offensive power and we're off.

Just need some final touches for some offensive power and we’re off.

 

almost there

almost there

 

The finished product but no pilot. Guess R2 will just have to hang around for a while.

The finished product but no pilot. Guess R2 will just have to hang around for a while.

 

I had to clear the Calvin and Hobbs and Farside anthologies to make room for this but it sits well next to some of my technic legos. I dig the motorcycle. It’s crazy the way some of the prices increase so quickly.

Finished X-wing. I did a slight mod on the stand to get it to stay up straight. It was back heavy and I was worried it might tip over backwards. I also didn't like the way it looked pointing up. I think it looks better now with a more stable stand and forward facing.

Finished X-wing. I did a slight mod on the stand to get it to stay up straight. It was back heavy and I was worried it might tip over backwards. I also didn’t like the way it looked pointing up. I think it looks better now with a more stable stand and forward facing.

 

Overall I still enjoy building these and would love to keep building more and more. It’s just where to put them all. Some of these take up quite some space. Then in the buying process I contemplate buying now to build later as prices can go up (and down) and it may get retired. I’m still upset with myself for not getting the carousel with the moving horses when I had the chance. I know others that wish they could still get an UCS Falcon without the crazy prices on it. Oh well. Perhaps one day I’ll just join a lego exchange group and just build and return.

In the related article is a 1:1 production. I don’t have a shelf for that one.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

Related articles

MMA

by

0

Tonight the topic of this weekends UFC MMA fight came up and another person that watches it was interested to know that two others of us also watch it. In the past I’ve tried to discuss this and many times it ends up feeling like I’m trying to defend why I watch it when I can. I know men who can’t stand it and women that yell right back at the screen.

Watching a MMA fight can be spiritual in its own way. For me this is gladiatorial. This is not a five on one situation. These are two men in a similar weight class that are going to pit skill against skill. One might be a better grappler and the maybe the other is a better striker. Each moment, strike, and breathe is important. One punch can knock the opponent off just enough to give the other an opening to literally jump onto. How well can someone handle and onslaught from a ground and pound? How strong is the chin to take blow after blow? Is your ground game good enough that if you are taken down or you take someone down that you can sink in your triangle or kamora to get yourself out. Once again a slight shift in balance or strength at right moment can shift the fight itself.

As them folk say, never leave it up to the judges. If you’ve ever watched a good matchup and you see the judges choose the one you thought obviously lost you can only imagine the feeling of the people in the cage whether in jubilation or disbelief.

Even writing about this I can feel my heart rate increasing and my blood pressure rising. The anticipation of a good matchup where they leave everything, everything in the ring. like the first bout between Forrest Griffin and Stephan Bonnar. It was so impressive they were both given contracts to fight.

From one concept a one on one fight tests your own skills and abilities. Did you train hard enough? Were you prepared? Could you adapt to a changing situation to persevere?

From a different concept just get a weapon and take out your opponent. That’s not to say there wasn’t skill in using that weapon. Just that if you have something bigger/better/whatever and the proper knowledge to use it you can win against a large group all by yourself. Something that may take a skill set completely different from a one on one fight.

Regardless. If you don’t agree with the fights, watch or don’t watch. That’s your business but just don’t bother me when I am watching. I enjoy them and will continue to enjoy watching them when I can, reveling in the feelings of the test of skills before me hoping for a good matchup and not a very one sided battle that leaves one untested.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel

cost and effect, part 2

by

0

Return of the Money Pit

Value has its own place as a general concept but it’s hard sometimes to see why people do what they do or choose what they choose.

As a general idea/concept I can understand why we buy/obtain more than we need. I get it. You see or hear about something nice or cool and you just want it. But the part that I have trouble with is why ‘we’ buy/obtain things that we can’t afford. In same cases that is literal. You live paycheck to paycheck yet you upgrade your phone every chance you get. I am not advocating or saying that you can’t spend the money how you please but I think I don’t want to hear anymore that something else, probably more important and vital in my perception can’t be had because the money isn’t there.

Do you really need to spend $90/month on internet/cable? How about upwards of $200+/month on internet/cable/phone?

A new car every few years? The fancy car getting 15mpg when you could be driving one for half the cost and twice the mpg? Another coach/gucci purse because well because.

This also applies to eating out a lot, though sometimes one could argue you could save money by eating out instead of ‘wasting’ food at home (just throw non-meat things into the garden/compost).

I feel bad for those people on the home makeover shows or those who win a raffle for something expensive not realizing that they might be stuck with some massive tax bills that they have to pay. They couldn’t afford their current living style and now they might actually lose what little home they did have because of new bills. I don’t know if shows or raffles explains these things or not.

Dad taught that a check or credit card were essentially the same in concept. You don’t write a check if they money isn’t already in the bank and you don’t charge something unless you have the money or it really will be there when the bill needs to be paid. And it isn’t the minimum balance that needs to be paid, but the whole bill.

I’ve seen someone’s credit card statement (shown to me), the amount they still owe, and the time to pay it off with the minimums. That’s a long time and a lot of money.

I don’t know what it will take or even if ‘we’ will ever become more responsible for our own actions. I’m not talking business/corporate as they seem to be immune to many of their mistakes but as individuals honor seems to be missing more often.

Time to get back to cleaning and to increasing the things in the donation pile. Less sometimes is more.

-Santa’s Fallen Angel