why do we say we ‘feel responsible’ for something? i wonder if i’m confused about the word and meaning of it.
I’m amazed at the amount of people that are shocked that I go to movies by myself. I get that being single has its negative impressions the older one gets. I still would like to make the right decision the first time instead of multiple wrong decisions, even if they might be a lot of fun along the way. There are good things about being single like being easier to fit in that isolated seat on the plane (disregarding the nasty looks the other two might give you) as well as the isolated seat in a packed movie theater (again disregarding the nasty looks) and not so good things about being single, mainly the way the rest of the world looks at us. The group tour world presumes to a large degree that people travel in pairs. Try and book a cruise or group tour and the majority are couples based (double occupancy). There are sites and places that help with the single person traveling and this is an ok option. Don’t be fooled by the world that you much travel or do things with someone else!! I think people would be even more shocked that I go to concerts, restaurants, sporting events, even the bathroom, all by myself. I hear “I wish I could do that.” (That third ‘I’ was bolded and italicized!)
In a moment of desire to give guidance and help the world I will share my secrets.
1. Find free time without other obligations or obligations you won’t feel that guilty about missing.
-This is purely subjective of course. You may decide that the cat in the tree or the baby in the runaway shopping cart are high priorities but this will cut into the time off and you may now miss your chosen event.
2. Choose something to do.
-You may have difficulties if you have problems making decisions. Choosing something that requires 2+ people may make it harder if you are by yourself. Likewise choosing something that requires participation might be difficult if you are sedentary or don’t want to participate in something.
3. Go.
-I leave the method of how to get there open: Hitch hiking and sneaking aboard planes ARE recognized methods and while quite valid are not recommended for multiple reasons including the fact that you are already having trouble getting out and these are extreme methods as well as the the illegal nature. In the future if you find you enjoy going out these options can be revisited.
4. Appreciate the ability to do what you want in your own time frame.
-Caveat being that events usually begin and end at some point. They generally want you to leave when it’s over. Otherwise, plan what you want to do whenever you want to do it.
5. Enjoy the quiet time as much as possible.
-It helps if the event has built in alone time like a movie. You shouldn’t be talking anyway at the theater.
6. Enjoy the nonquiet time as much as possible.
-You may have to go home at some point to a life you may not like and dread as the event comes to a close. Let that pent up energy out before you get home.
7. Remember the time you spent.
-If you enjoyed it, it will give you energy and motiviation to go out again.
-If you didn’t enjoy it, analyze why and try again with something else.
-If you had gone to something that you wouldn’t have gone to without others, you may need help choosing for the second try.
Thoughts: As stated, movies are a good choice to start with, if you like movies, because you aren’t supposed to be talking, forced to engage in conversation with others, nor having to interact with others except to buy the ticket and find a seat. Go early to avoid having to squeeze in between people if the theater is expected to be full. If you have trouble staying silent, perhaps time at a monestary or nunery (as specified per gender) would be helpful. Their methods will be their own so check into that before signing up. Bugee jumping and sky diving are also solo events where you won’t be doing much talking either. *screaming is not talking*
If you have no friends to ask for help, you can try websites setup for singles. Not necessarily people who don’t have an SO (significant other) but people who are going to be traveling on their own (who probably don’t have an SO). You can also try sites like meetup to try and attend events. Keep in mind though that many travels by oneself can come at a higher cost as many trips are not designed for the single person. Try a regular cruise booking and the single supplement charge will blow your mind. Might as well find someone to travel with since it’s about the same price. Us single folk get the short end of the stick (a phrase whose origin may be shit end of the stick by the way since really what is the short end of a stick, it only has two ends), when trying to travel alone. It might be a difficult thing dealing with the concept of being by youself in a group event. It might also be easier though without having to plan anything out and maybe the people are actually nice. As before, there are plenty of sites for finding trips for the single traveler. It’s just finding the one that fits your schedule and level of activity. Make sure you meet the requirements as they are and pay the price. You are good to go and you may even get hooked to doing things by yourself but still in a group setting. You can then work yourself to smaller and smaller groups until you can spend time by yourself. Then the world really opens up.
-SFA
As an amazon prime member I had the opportunity to buy an Amazon Echo early and for a discounted price. It seemed like a good idea of exploration. There are houses out there that have an incredible level of home automation but this is something not too expensive and definitely first generation. It’s a glimpse of a future not that far ahead.
Choices occur at every moment. There are no good or bad choices. That notion is subject to the whims of hindsight. We all come to the precipice every moment. Jump or turn around. Fly or fall or seek another path. Fear can be a motivator or ‘demotivator.’ I still think of it as motivation, just in a different direction. The fear of not jumping should not be the decision point. It should be a part of the process though. Don’t deny the fear. It’s there for a reason. Emotions and base instincts got our ancestors through quite a lot. If we didn’t need them they would have probably been weeded out by now. Embrace those pieces that make us who we are. But we are man, not animal. Analyze and process these emotions and instincts. Why are they there and what do you choose to do about them. The animal trapped may give up or chew through its leg to escape. Man can choose those options but can also wait for them that done set the trap. Our ‘higher functions’ give us an opportunity to excel and redefine our choices. Turning around is just as valid a choice as jumping. And turning around need not be from cowardice. Two may take the same path. The coward is the one that let fear be the guiding reason. The other chose to walk knowing they may be afraid but still pushing on that path. Likewise the man who jumps off the precipice may be doing so with thought behind the action but also from fear of what’s behind. The precipice gives us a chance to elevate from animal. We get the chance to use those higher functions if we want. To learn about ourselves and expand our thinking. Each choice is a new crucible of its own to give us an opportunity to be broken down or changed into something new. I am not who I was that moment ago. I am reborn anew each moment of my life. You can be overwhelemed thinking about this ability to be new and improved or you might not be overwhelmed. The choice is yours.
-SFA
Well, I think so at least.
I still wonder what holidays I should be happy about. Why are they merry? People run around and buy things and clog up the streets and get into accidents. They eat a lot and blame the season for their weight gain instead of self control, not that I’m that good eating the cookies and snacks I see around me. I wonder what christmas is like playing beach volleyball in non-cold or snowy places.
I hear people talk about not wanting to celebrate christmas because they aren’t christian/religious, not that most people that celebrate seem to be truly practicing anyway, and say they are celebrating the holiday season. Um… what holiday season is it with chanukah or christmas or (insert religious time). The only thing I’ve heard about this season that might actually be worth it in making sense is celebrating the solstice. That’s actually something more real to me. The sun is there, yup. Saw it myself. And now I’m blind.
I was reading on CNN about church goers that were upset when the priest said santa wasn’t real and all those kids heard it. Heaven help that people that choose to go to church actually hear about church things. I must admit myself that I can’t remember which book Saint Nick is (mistletoe, ‘Christmas’ trees, egg nog, etc) located in. Old or new testament…hmm…. Good thing I don’t believe. Makes it easier to poke fun.
Santa has almost been deified. I’m told people want to celebrate the gift giving of the holidays.
How about NOT buying new and possibly expensive things or replacements for things that are still working and using that money to actually buy important things like Food for people that don’t have dinner let alone worrying about the extra calories being put on during the holiday season. When you go out to dinner and the meal is huge, before you start even eating, cut out the part you don’t think you’ll finish and instead of taking it home, have it put in a togo container and give it to someone you see, if you’re in a place where there are homeless around.
Toys for kids are nifty and all but again, those minor things like warm clothes might be appreciated by others as well. Now, in general you spend your money as you please. It’s yours. I just call bullshit when it’s done in the ‘christmas spirit’. If christ was in a grave, he’d be rolling in it. I suppose actually you can roll easier in the above ground cave he was supposed to be in as a jew.
Stop using these months as excuses. It should be beneath you as a human. You eat crap because you shove it in your face. You buy or get things you probably don’t really need or want. You honor a fat man in a red suit and kids get to believe they will get something, probably even if they were bad, because it was the season for it. You need shoes and we have the money, sure, let’s get a pair of sturdy non-namebrand but quality shoes that fit and that you’ll grow out of in 6 months. You need something for your actual sport, fine, splurge on the quality.
If you want to play the game of christmas as a religious time, pull out that wristband of WWJD and actually think about it. He’d probably not but the stuff to begin with and anything he got, he’d give it away.
If you want to play the commercialism season, the stores are open for your creditcards. You can try and buy/rent all the love you want in your life. You can be the best friend your child needs, instead of the parent showing them a truer world that is fantastic on its own without needing to be dressed up.
Have a good day, whatever the day and have a merry bah humbug.
-SFA
Day 9 – Last Day in Cuba
0925am
The dinner went smooth even if I got soaked through in the rain getting to the restaurant. My choice. I could have waited for an umbrella. The tenderloin wasn’t bad, just not flavorful. They asked for feedback at the restaurant so I told them that I wasn’t impressed by the majority of the meal. Lisa, a member in our group, is also a singer and sang a song with the band. It’s on video as soon as I realized what was happening. After dinner we had drinks at the bar in the hotel then I finished some packing and went to bed.
Regular breakfast and bus loading. We passed through town to get to the airport. It was pretty quick to go through immigration. Some people were denied their Cuban stamps in their passports. I found someone that then talked to a supervisor that said they would get someone out to stamp them. I think we were stonewalled but Daniel stepped in and with far better and smoother spanish than mine was able to keep the ball rolling. The woman from immigration, the person that was the same official for all the people that didn’t get their stamps, eventually came out. She said that they all said they didn’t want the stamp. Oh well. They got their stamps in the end which is what matters. Boarding is starting and we will soon be off.
Day 8
0840am
The last day in Cuba. The injured person wasn’t as injured thankfully. We are heading to the literacy museum. Afterwards to an artist’s house that does tiles, then cooking demonstration during lunch, then either/and children’s afterschool program. There will be an open market with local goods for some retail therapy for those that need it.
She looks like a student just about anywhere
Day 7
0800am
Camilo Garcia Lopez-Trigo – exdiplomat – camiloglt@outlook.com – twitter@camiloglt
He gave us a talk on US-Cuba relations from the Cuban perspective.
Flashback: Floridita was a fast dinner and slow. It took a while to get the food and then had to eat very quickly so we could make it to the buena vista show. Picked up the tab for Daniel. Everyone wanted to pitch in and I started collecting money but without exact change I couldn’t keep track and I stopped trying, gave back the money and just took care of it. Eventually the taxi came and we got to the show. The Daquiri at floridita was better. I shared the torneados tenderloins ‘papa’ style (hemingway style) with ebru. Good filet mignon and onion soup. The show (flashforward in the past) was good. Great sound and voices. There are two original members left of the original buena vista club. They did a great job. Just wish there was more time for group dancing and more people to dance with that I knew.
Continue reading
Day 6
0800am
Federer won match point against Waiwrinka… I mean the drive to Havana was uneventful. We stopped for lunch as usual. After threatening our own revolution, we won just enough time to dip our feet into the water before getting back on the bus. A long drive but smooth to the Hotel National. Nice room even if it is smoky. For some reason the smoky room is bugging my lungs but not when I tried the cigar. Walt Disney stayed in our room, the sign says so. A walk around town showed basic large city crap: dirty smelly noisy. I started to hold my things closer to my body. Very unlike Cienfuegos. There is a shield wall (or sea wall or something like that name) where apparently prostitutes hang out at night. They are young girls and boys and homosexuals to make some money. Some of them might be people with regular government jobs that need extra money. Continue reading
Day 5
1115am
After the symphony we went to our dinner outside similar to what I’ve been having so far. The band asked me (pulled me) to play the drums. I’m not sure if it was because I was at the table next to them and tapping on the table, because I was a tourist, or random. Of course I am nowhere near as good as Pablo. I’m happy at least I kept a rhythm. Pablo, Margo, Ebru and I went up some narrow stairs to see a view from the top of a building. I tried smoking more of the Cuban but it went out again. It’s also starting to fall apart. People make smoking look so easy. We turned in early. This morning was finishing packing to have the bags ready for pickup by 7am then off to breakfast. We walked after to a local store where the people use their ration booklets. Now we are headed to the bag of pigs museum. Continue reading